Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
