You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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