Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
