my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
