i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize