He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
