I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
