I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
