she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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