Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?

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(260): View more from Indiana

Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes

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(613): View more from Ontario

Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.

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(303): View more from Colorado

His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.

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(650): View more from California

You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?

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(406): View more from Montana

I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...

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(551): View more from New Jersey

I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy

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