If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
