This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
