It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize