ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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