I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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