OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
