Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
