that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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