I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
You were trust falling into bushes
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
