dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
