No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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