you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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