did you get engaged???
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
