Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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