Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
