i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize