did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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