How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
