he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize