It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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