hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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