Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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