oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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