her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
