Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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