i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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