i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
