using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I cut my penus on the lid.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
