Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
