do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize
