I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
It's never too late to be topless.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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