I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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