i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize