You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize