I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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