K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
