don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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