That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
