I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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