when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
