You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
