How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
