Porn is love you can see.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
