My Higher Power is John Stamos
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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