Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
