took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
