How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
