Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
